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I am failing NaNoWriMo

silhouette of a person jumping for joy with a sunrise in the background

And why that is OK

I had made my plans. Found my resolve. My abandoned fantasy novel well and truly on my mind at the start of this month. I was ready to go NaNoWriMo.

And then I didn’t.

Still a week to November 2019 and I haven’t written a word of my novel. There’s a league of excuses I could come up with. But if I am truly honest with myself — and with you, dear reader — I just don’t want to. I think that if I was really committed to the story, to my unlikely heroine and the fantasy folk on her path, I would just sit down and write. I would find the time — or rather, create the time.

Yet it’s not as if I haven’t written at all this month. On average, I wrote two articles a day and published 12 in my new Medium publications Hearts in the Write Place, The Changing Blog and The Healing House.

I’ve only just started my Medium publications. I feel very committed to them and want to see them through. That means I have to write a lot. Daily. I have to focus my attention on the scope of my Medium publications. My fantasy novel simply does not fit in. Of course I could write article after article about my struggle with this novel, but I dare say I will bore my audience — and Medium as well.

Recently, I wrote a post about the art of accepting compliments. I have just had the good fortune to receive one hell of a compliment from my principal client again or, more accurately, their client whom I visited to get acquainted and see how I could help. The compliment is that they were taken with me and are looking forward to our co-operation on what will be a brand new project for me. The compliment is particularly valuable because they have had a disappointing experience with another freelancer that left them virtually empty-handed.

I have been now been afforded the lead on this project, that will cover all my workable hours. I will be setting it up, draft instructions, guidelines and style sheets and in time instruct colleagues and co-ordinate the work. I am so up for it. Guaranteed work is a freelancer’s dream, of course, and I cannot believe my good fortune, while at the same time I feel I deserve it after so many years of hardship and struggle. The project will take up a lot of my time, but not all of it, as my client understands and appreciates I have my writing as well.

NaNoWriMo is an absolutely wonderful initiative, designed to motivate and connect writers all over the world. People who dream of seeing their novel written and published but somehow haven’t gotten around to do it. NaNoWriMo is sparks many such efforts. The organization supports writers tirelessly — with pep talks, write-ins, writing prompts and merchandise, all designed to get writers writing. The competition element appeals to many, and the sense of accomplishment when ‘winning’ NaNoWriMo is very rewarding.

This year, I am failing NaNoWriMo. Again. But it’s OK. I am facing new challenges. I have many stories yet to tell.

When I feel the time is right, I will revisit that little girl in my unfinished fantasy novel, take her hand and lead her through the rest of her story, still firmly lodged in my head. ‘The Gnarly Tree’ will be there, waiting patiently. Now is not the time. I have other fences to climb, races to run, hurdles to take.

Onwards and upwards.

This post was originally published on Medium in my publication Hearts in the Write Place on November 25, 2019.

By Andrea

Enterprising writing editor with an inquisitive mind, an outwritten opinion and her Heart in the Write Place. Writing about writing -- and ever changing life. Sharing the creative process and personal journey.

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