Where to Begin?
“Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones
On this platform, I wrote once before about mining emotional gold to fuel your writing. Readers want to be touched by your writing, amazed, moved, stirred. Your job as a writer is to take them by the hand and show them around in your world — your mind, if you will. It can be cathartic and therapeutic to write about trauma.
Every life knows some trauma: from a childhood disappointment to the loss of a loved one, to actual, serious trauma that inflicted injury. The thing about trauma is that, in time, it fades away. It may take a lot of time, but at some point, memories of the event become muddled. When you try to recall, often the chronology fails you.
And no small wonder: at the time the trauma occurred, you were distraught, damaged even. Whether you’re writing fact or fiction, if you want to write about a certain trauma in your life, it’s hard to find a starting point. I would never presume to know the definitive answer, but writing from experience, I have a few pointers you may find helpful.
- mind map
I know I suggested this method before, but especially when writing about trauma, I find this a helpful tool. You start in the middle of an empty sheet of paper, a whiteboard or an online tool such as Miro with the one word that comes to mind when you remember the trauma you want to write about and draw a circle around it.
Next, you let your mind make associations you write around the circled word and connect them to the circled word — or to each other — with lines, creating something like a word cloud or an associative virtual spiderweb. You draw circles around words that are especially significant or crucial to the story you’re telling. Seeing your story outlined in associations will help you write it. - bulleted list
Another way to write about your trauma is to create a bulleted list of all the topics that come to mind, recalling your trauma in no specific order or chronology.
Looking back later on your list, you could put the items in order by numbering them if you feel you could use more structure. - mood board
A mood board can be helpful with a wide variety of projects, and this one is no exception. For the analogue way, you’ll need a large sheet of paper or cardboard and a stack of (preferably old) magazines, a pair of scissors and some glue, as well as a couple of magic markers in different colours. Now it’s time to get creative, just like you were in school. It may sound weird, because we’re talking trauma here, after all, but a mood board can actually help you form the story more clearly in your mind while distancing yourself from the pain it caused. Just cut pictures, letters, words and sentences from the magazines, that most convey the feel of the story. Use the markers to emphasize items of particular importance to the story or to connect related items.
These simple methods seem to distract from the matter at hand — writing about your trauma — and in a way, that’s exactly what they’re meant to do. Since it is unpleasant to think about your trauma — or even relive it — you need to find a way to write about it with the least bit of pain possible.
- “dosed” writing
I don’t mean you should dose yourself before writing. I am saying write just a little every day for a certain time (however long it takes until you’re satisfied).
Since it can be too painful to recall your trauma and to write it down all at once, why not allow yourself to write just a little — just as much as you feel comfortable with. Stop the moment you feel uncomfortable. When you’re done, all you have to do is edit and piece it all together. It’s the method I am using at the moment. - journalling
If you are seeing a therapist about your trauma, chances are that he/she will ask you to keep a journal for a while, about your feelings, your daily routine, etc. You could use bits from that personal journal to piece together the story of your trauma. - describing memories
Memories will come to you when you least expect them. They have a habit of lurking in dark places only to jump out at you and catch you off guard. Next time that happens, try to make a note of what you see/hear/smell /taste/feel.
It doesn’t have to be a lengthy description, just an impression will suffice. Recording these bits and pieces will help you recreate the chronology of your story. Just have a notepad and a pen at the ready, or hit the record button on your smartphone. - turn fact into fiction
If your trauma is just too painful to relive, why not fictionalise it? It’s been said that fact seems more imaginative than fiction, and sometimes that is true. When Husband and I tell people what happened to us some years ago in a small coastal village, they don’t believe us. Yet it happened, and we are still having trouble writing that particularly painful episode in our lives. But if you create a character, you can have anything happen to him/her/them. “Kill your darlings”, remember? And by fictionalising your trauma, you automatically distance yourself from it.
“It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”
― Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
Dealing with trauma is hard! Writing about it even harder.
Still, writing about trauma can be beyond therapeutic. It allows you to turn a terrible experience that may still weigh you down into something positive. After all, a burden shared is half a burden. And in sharing with your readers, you gain so much more than just healing. Through your readers, you may experience understanding, empathy, and even support. And, as a bonus, your writing will improve. Write your trauma’s away and begin healing!
This post was originally published on Medium in my publication Hearts in the Write Place on March 27, 2025.