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Together at Work

Posted on November 12, 2019April 4, 2022 by Andrea

How to find a rhythm when you’re both working from home

It’s a sunny November Sunday. Our little family of three is in the garden, enjoying the sun. That is, two of us are enjoying the sun. Our Amstaff is hard at work, trying to catch whatever is buzzing around us — a solitary bee, a fly or a late wasp, all like us attracted by the warmth of that November sun. With a little effort, and after Husband has killed a particularly persistently annoying wasp, she manages to stay down.

It is a rare moment of relaxation for us, because of course as writers, our work is never done.

When you’re both working from home, distraction is always a factor. Though my day job (I’m a technical editor with an editing services company) is all about careful planning and strict deadlines, the one thing I cannot plan is when inspiration will hit. Neither can Husband. As an editor, I believe it’s my responsibility to encourage, motivate and facilitate him, so he can grow as a writer. That often means leaving him alone whenever he is inspired. As he can find it hard to focus, the least bit of distraction can pull him out of his flow. Even my putting down coffee cups on the table could disturb him, even when he himself asked for that coffee not ten minutes ago. Whenever inspiration comes calling, he must answer that call, grab his notepad or his tablet and write. When I see him at work, the best thing to do is to double back out of the room and wait until he is approachable again. I have to make sure not to get annoyed or frustrated, as that is counterproductive and not helping either of us.

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

It’s a little different for me. Because I am basically forced to work at office hours — because my main client does — I don’t always get to give in to my moments of inspiration. Working on a schedule, these moments will have to wait until I allow myself a break of when I am done putting in my hours for my client for the day. As I too would like to spend my days just writing, it can sometimes be frustrating, but on the other hand it is a good thing to maintain a schedule.

My writing time needs to be planned like every other tasks. Sometimes it feels as if I am not getting enough time to write, while I offer Husband every opportunity to discover himself as a writer and to live the way he wants: off the clock as much as he can, taking his time to stretch his mind any way he chooses. Sometimes it feels unfair, but then I remind myself I am better of with a structure, because I actually need it. Whereas some writers can ‘roam free’ as my husband does, others need the discipline imposed by the clock. I have obligations and that is a good thing. They put food on the table and allow us to work from home and live the way we choose.

We must be doing something right, because the days fly by — but perhaps that is just because we’re getting older.

In any case, it’s not that I don’t write at all when inspiration hits me. I always have my smartphone with me, and I write while waiting for the water to boil or for the coffee to be done. I write while watching Netflix with Husband. I write while spending quality time with our dog. I write every idle moment. I suppose I am not that easily distracted. I attribute this to my secretarial days, where I was used to multitasking.

“If you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.
— Marc Anthony”

Being in a relationship as writers, it is very important to respect each others processes, especially the differences in them. It is those differences that make you unique, after all: unique as a person and as a writer.


This post was originally published on Medium in my publication Hearts in the Write Place on November 7, 2019.

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